BIBLICAL CBT

whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.   

This is my personal verse used for corrective therapy to all my negative, catastrophic thinking. 

 

Feeling Rough :(

So I got through all that work, and was given the rest of the week off, time owing. Now I'm in bed with a thumping head cold. Am reminded that- "this too shall pass". And am grateful that I feel ok emotionally, and mentally. Spiritually? I need to pray, I find it so hard to pray. But I am blessed with peace today, that my God understands my weakness, forgives my sins, and loves me totally. How amazing is that?

FAIL

FAIL for the beyond chocolate course which was cancelled :(
FAIL for my attempts to come off lithium. I just got too unstable, too unwell. Thankfully, I got to see a new pdoc within a few days, and only needed a week off work. Back on an even higher dose of lithium now :(
FAIL for my boss at work. Return to work interview-
Boss "what can we do to help you cope at work when you're feeling unwell?"
Me " I don't like to be in charge on weekdays"
Boss "Oh that's fine."
-The next week, Friday. I turn up for an early shift. Boss has taken an annual leave day, leaving me in charge. Hey ho.
Then the next day, my early shift turns into a long day- colleague off sick for a long day- so 14and half hrs later, having worked below minimum staffing levels, I go home, exhausted.
Then, the next day- a late shift. Another colleague gets sick during the afternoon. I phone the on-call boss-
Me- "Staff Nurse K has gone off sick. We're down to 4 staff, we are full, and extremely busy."
Boss- "Well, I can't help you".
Me- "Oh. ok then, thanks..." phone goes dead, boss has put the phone down.
Hmm, cheers for that. We had a crazy, awful shift,and I had no breaks.
That was yesterday. 4 on a late shift. 30 patients.
Today, I'm rostered on another late shift. But there's 7 of us on. So I ring up my boss this morning-
Me- "I'm owed a day off, can I take it today, I'm exhausted, and there's loads of staff on"?
Boss- "sorry, but we need an extra staff nurse to do the chemo today".
Me-" But there are 3 staff nurses on, and 2 of them are chemo-trained. Surely the 'in-charge' nurse can do the chemo?"
Boss-"No, we need you to come in. But you can do a short shift, come in 3-9." (that's only 2hrs less)!
Me- "Oh, ok then, thanks..."
So I'm working today, tomorrow(late shift), and then a day off, then back again, into the madness :(
I hate late shifts too. Two lots of visiting times, visitors can be so rude, so demanding, sometimes downright nasty.
Ok, that's my moan over. 

Beyond Chocolate

I'm so excited, I've booked in for a half day Beyond Chocolate course, see the youtube video I've posted.

"Meet the Author" Sophie and Audrey Boss

ON Half meds now! feeling a bit mixed- manic, then exhausted.(5/9/11)

Previous posts =


I've also got back on to reducing my meds. Was on Lithium 700mg, Prozac 40mg, daily. Now on Lithium 400mg, Prozac 20mg, daily. If I'm feeling low, I take 40mg Prozac. If i'm feeling a bit high, I take 600mg Lithium. Seems to be working ok...(29/8/11)




Well, that didn't last long. Just a couple of days after seeing the dr, I had a real downer. Also my sleep has been disrupted, always a bad sign. I do not want to have times like that. So have decided not to try and come off meds.(15/7/11)



now, my meds. i stopped taking them this week which was foolish. i went to see my g.p this morning. she advised me to stay on the prozac, and reduce the lithium very slowly. so that's what i'll do. hope it's ok! i so want to be free of the meds and all the side-effects(8/7/11)

When a church lets you down... you feel hurt, upset, lonely... scared to join another church, but knowing you can't go it alone...

RANT TIME-

8 years at a large and lively church.
Husband was a deacon for a year- did loads maintenance (and still does)! I did lots of stuff over the years.
We leave. After a few weeks gone, we contact an elder- to inform him we have found another church.
Absolutely no-one from the church has contacted us to ask after us.
Bump into the elder's wife a couple weeks after husband had met with him and told him of our leaving. Awkward moment when she doesn't know what to say to me, as she doesn't know why she hasn't seen us for ages. Her husband hadn't told her.
I got an email from a friend last week. Wondering where we were. Had we moved to another church? That is the sum total of enquiries about us- 1.
Even the pastor never said anything to my husband when he saw him a few weeks back, hubby was fixing something down at the church.
I am hurt, saddened, and angry. We got married in that church 4 years ago. Now I never want to go back there.
Thankfully, we have found a lovely, smaller church where it's like a proper family. But I do find the worship somewhat restrictive- very old fashioned- I miss the more contemporary and expressive worship of my old church. But there is never going to be a perfect church this side of heaven!

RainyMood.com: Rain makes everything better.

RainyMood.com: Rain makes everything better.

Refuting Evolution

A day in the mind of illness

i've discovered how to put you-tube stuff on my blog! ace!

I've also got back on to reducing my meds. Was on Lithium 700mg, Prozac 40mg, daily. Now on Lithium 400mg, Prozac 20mg, daily. If I'm feeling low, I take 40mg Prozac. If i'm feeling a bit high, I take 600mg Lithium. Seems to be working ok...

Christian Hymns with Lyrics - Come Ye Disconsolate

When a church lets you down...

When a church lets you down... you feel hurt, upset, lonely... scared to join another church, but knowing you can't go it alone...

that didn't last long! back on meds :(

Well, that didn't last long. Just a couple of days after seeing the dr, I had a real downer. Also my sleep has been disrupted, always a bad sign. I do not want to have times like that. So have decided not to try and come off meds. Also, my diet- well I'm just eating carefully, not sticking to the prescribed diet. I still hope to lose weight, but it'll be very gradual. I also have booked onto outdoor fitness sessions- I really want to get fit again.

 The church is still good. I've got to tell friends from my old church, we've just slipped quietly away. But, no-one seems to have noticed, or been in touch- but I just got to get in touch with them i suppose.

found a church! now coming off meds!

yay! i found a church. it's not an orthodox church- i don't believe a lot of their stuff anyway. it's a lot like the chapel i grew up in. it's called a free church. not sure what that means! it's old fashioned, non flashy, straightforward- 4 hymns, 2 prayers and a sermon- but all so fervent, and alive- even though they're not dancing down the aisles, or even raising their hands. it's a small, suburban congregation, meeting 15 mins drive away, just around the ring-road, 2 suburbs away.so an easy drive, still in the north of the city. our previous church was in the south of the city, not a bad drive on a sunday, but awful during the week. so we've been to the midweek meetings these last 2 weeks, and my kids are going to the kids club tonight. i am excited. we have found a new family, and it's good to get involved.

now, my meds. i stopped taking them this week which was foolish. i went to see my g.p this morning. she advised me to stay on the prozac, and reduce the lithium very slowly. so that's what i'll do. hope it's ok! i so want to be free of the meds and all the side-effects- especially the weight gain. i'm eating healthily, and moderately- still not losing any weight. i hope i can be med-free by the end of this year.

which church to go to?

 I've copied and pasted the article below. I have been so confused and unhappy recently. What church to go to? What is best for the kids? This article makes a lot of sense. I'm going to look into it. But the only orthodox church near us is Greek-speaking, I think. I'll have to investigate!

In a nutshell, the primary attraction I had to Eastern Orthodoxy was its soteriology. For most of my Christian life as a western Evangelical, I lived and operated under the judicial view of salvation that is common to western Christianity. In addition, I had fully embraced the reduced popular version that one hears in many witnessing opportunities. It goes something like this:

“God loves you and has created you for a wonderful purpose. However, humanity rebelled against God and therefore all people are born and live under the guilt of sin, compounded by their own disobedience. We are all guilty of breaking God’s Law and because the wages of sin is death, every human being is condemned to die. But because God loves you so much, he sent his son to die on your behalf. On the cross, Jesus took upon himself the wrath and judgment reserved for you. So if you accept Jesus’ gift simply by believing it in faith, you are forgiven of your of guilt and God now views you with Jesus’ righteousness.”

Or to reduce it further into how most western evangelicals think, salvation means we’re forgiven of all of our sins and as a result, we will go to heaven when we die. This viewpoint focuses primarily on the individual and treats salvation as an event and a commodity regardless of the actual state of one’s life.

After my episode of severe burnout several years ago and during my subsequent theological reconstruction, I abandoned the judicial metaphor as the primary understanding of sin and salvation. I realized that while God was lavish with his love and forgiveness, I really hadn’t been saved from much of anything. As a successful pastor who loved Jesus, I was virtually as broken and screwed up as a human being as I was when I first began following Christ. It was this very fact that forced me to realize that the biblical view of salvation was more organic, relational, and synergistic than legal.

Salvation is the process of restoration to what humans were created to be. Rather than sin being the breaking of God’s Law, the root of sin is the movement from being to non-being. Sin is the distortion of our humanity, of who we are supposed to be as God’s image on earth. This is the glory of which we all fall short. Rather than being truly human, sin makes us subhuman. So the problem of sin is much deadlier and sinister than mere guilt or disobedience. It is the warping, distortion and brokenness of who we are as human beings. It is the full corruption of my mind, heart, body, soul and relationships.

In this light, I don’t just need to be forgiven. I need to be healed. I don’t just need assurance of admittance into heaven in the future. I need assurance that who I am in the present is being transformed out of my desperate and destructive subhuman existence and into the image and likeness of God as I was divinely intended to live.

So salvation isn’t primarily about guilt and forgiveness. It’s about brokenness and healing. It’s about delusion and illumination. It’s about distortion and transformation. It’s about death and life in the here-and-now.

As a follower of Jesus, I truly cannot say, “I am saved.” I can only say, “I am being saved.”

Christ’s crucifixion has conquered evil, destroyed death, reconciled creation, redeemed the human nature, and released God’s forgiveness. In other words, Jesus has made God’s salvation completely available to all people. But as St Paul exhorts the Philippians,

“work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”

Salvation is something that is worked out progressively with God.

So if salvation is a lifelong journey of healing transformation in God, then how am I actually being saved? I am being saved by participating in the life of God by communing with Jesus Christ within the life of his people. So not only is salvation an ongoing relationship with God by communing with and following Christ, but salvation is also an ongoing relationship with God’s people.

There is no such thing as a private salvation. One can only experience “being saved” within a community of Christ’s followers.

It is very easy to read this and wonder,

“Isn’t this works-righteousness?”

or

“Aren’t you now trying to earn salvation?”

And the simple answer is “Not at all.”

None of this is possible without God’s grace completely penetrating and affecting all of this. But while salvation is opposed to earning, it requires strenuous effort in synergy with God’s grace. Salvation must be worked out in cooperation with God. It is like going to physical therapy to recover from an accident or surgery. Healing requires effort on my part, not as an attempt to earn anything, but as the cooperative process with my doctors that moves me from my brokenness to my healing.

Or to switch metaphors, the process of salvation is like marriage. I am legally married. But that thought rarely enters my mind. Rather, the last 19 years of marriage have been learning to live in a cooperative relationship with Debbie so that she and I progressively become one. Again, it’s not about earning anything. It’s a relationship of becoming something other than what I was when I began, knowing that what I am becoming is far better than what I was.

What are we becoming? Our salvation is that we’re becoming God’s humanity as he intended. We’re not only being restored into the image of God but growing into the likeness of God. We are growing into the fullness and likeness of Jesus, who was true humanity as we were all intended to become. So we are becoming by grace what Christ is by nature — the very fullness of God in our humanity. And as we become this, the entire Creation is being sanctified. In other words, we are becoming the agents of God’s sanctification and renewal of creation. And this then moves the discussion to mission (but that will have to wait for another post).

So all of this discourse on salvation is simply to say that Eastern Orthodoxy is the only Christian tradition that has this beautiful soteriology built into its tradition, theology, ecclesiology and daily practice and life. We encounter it and live it in every formal service as a church and informal gathering as friends. It is woven into the very fabric of the Orthodox way of life.

While Mark and I have taught this soteriology and our families have tried to live in it all the way back to our time at the Vineyard, through our association with the Emerging Church, and within our experience as a home church, it has only been during the last five months in an Orthodox parish that we have found the natural environment in which this salvation can be fully lived and experienced.
We finally feel at home.

Read this series of articles from the beginning. Part One HERE.
Source

© 2011, Journey To Orthodoxy | The Orthodox Christian 'Welcome Home' Network for Converts. All rights reserved. On republishing this, please provide a link to the original post. Thank you and may God richly bless you.

Subscribe to the "JTO" Newsletter

Get the latest information and helps from JTO on helping others make the Journey to the Orthodox faith, tips on removing barriers for inquirers, and how to reach others with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Name:

Email:

Similar stories you may like -

Why I Became Orthodox: A Personal Story & TestimonyFrom Catholic Priest To Orthodox PioneerFrom Unchurched Hawaiian to Local OrthodoxDigital Natives Embrace Ancient Church

Share this with your friends and Enjoy:

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Filed under Evangelicals, Missions · Tagged with Church, eastern, emergent, Jason Zahariades, orthodox

2 Responses to “From Emerging Church To Eastern Orthodoxy: Part 3”

1. Jerry Woodruff says:

   June 15, 2011 at 3:35 am

   Awesome article. Thank you.
   

   ---

   [Translate]
2. tobi says:

   June 16, 2011 at 12:53 am

   i have come to the same soteriology, even though i’m also a child of the evangelical tradition. my journey is somewhat similar. i have one objection to what you write though: you say that a christian can not say ‘i am saved’ – but then you compare salvation with marriage (rightly so). and you say ‘i am married’. so in the same way you can also consider yourself saved in the sense that you are bound to jesus. because you have him and he has you, you have been saved, are saved and are being saved. when i say ‘i’m saved’, i understand it to mean that i have started to walk this road of healing together with jesus.
   

   ---

   [Translate]

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!

Click here to cancel reply.

Name (required)
Mail (will not be published) (required)
Website

• A Message from Fr. John A. Peck

  
• Subscribe to the JTO Newsletter

  Name:

  Email:
• 
• 

• Recent Additions

  • Subscribe to JTO
  • My Journey Into The Orthodox Church
  • From Emerging Church To Eastern Orthodoxy: Part 3
  • From Emergent Church To Eastern Orthodox: Part 2
  • From Emergent Church To Eastern Orthodox: Part 1
  • What A Long, Strange Trip It’s Been: Pt 2
  • What A Long, Strange Trip It’s Been: Pt 1
• 
• 

Read more: From Emerging Church To Eastern Orthodoxy: Part 3 : Journey To Orthodoxy | The Orthodox Christian 'Welcome Home' Network for Converts

Library time-out.

I've had to spend the afternoon out, because my eldest step-son is staying with us, and my husband is grumpy, and I've got a day off, and want to enjoy it! I thought I'd try to start this blog- I don't think I'll ever be a blogger to follow- it's more a place for me to put my stuff. It's actually good that no-one is reading it!

So, why is my blog called Rainbowmania2?

Well, the rainbow bit is my South African heritage- I am a mish-mash of so many nationalities.
The mania bit is my bipolar disorder, which I struggle with. Lithium keeps me stable, but tired-all-the-time-, but wait, I forgot my sleep apnoea, now treated by a CPAP mask- am I less tired? I think I am. But today I'm tired. Prozac keeps me happy. Am I happy today? Reasonably. I'm not depressed so that' good.

My library computer session is about to end. Got to get the bus home now. Maybe I'll blog again soon. Bye bye me, it's weird writing to myself, but quite nice really!

I've not been able to find my other blogs.

frustrated blogger tries again

i've had 2 blogs before. i don't even know how to access them. so i'm starting again, in the hope that i might be able to find them and mesh them and regularly blog for the sake of of my mental and spiritual health...